12 June 2011

9 days


As I sit here in the morning, I feel the subtle movements of a baby stirring in my belly. It sparks me to think of the reality that this little child is nearing 23 weeks, fully formed in stature, yet outside of the womb, cannot live a healthy Day. It's interesting to me to feel all of these kicks, and know that he is still in need of this dwelling den!
Spiritually, I am compelled to see this example as our one true need of God. Yes, we look like a fully formed individual. We can eat, exercise, kick, punch, but outside of His care and plan, our breaths are not our own. This baby is my glittering example of that.
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble 
and surround me with songs of deliverance. 
Psalm 32:7
Physically,this same illustration directs my thoughts to the duty of protecting this child as the Mama kangaroo pouch that I am. My Husband used to say"You're a Perfect Baby Carrier!" all the time, as I often felt 'large and in charge' ! or of course, "Does this baby make me look fat?" He always has the right words to say.
 Everyday, I learn more and more of who I am in this baby's little growing life. I think twice before taking medicine, caffeine, foods, or lifting, etc. This little spirit means so much to me more and more every minute! Pregnancy is an amazing gift...and I am learning to deny taking it for granted.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, 
 who does not change like shifting shadows.
 James 1:17

Just knowing that I am not reduced to just a 'holder' in the midst of this time of risk, but a gal entrusted with a Gift from God. Not only do I have a purpose, but this baby boy does too; It makes me love this baby all the more. I hug my belly, I'm not gonna lie...
Medical Talk 
So catching you up to speed, we are safely in California learning all the more about what the possibilities of this pregnancy are. A lot of people are inquiring about how they've heard that this issue of complete placenta previa can possibly correct itself. We have hoped for that each time, but as we have learned that the best predictor of the future is to look at the past. Every time that hope was dropped in our hearts, it never corrected itself. 
Recently we found out that as each pregnancy ensues, the chance of the placenta imbedding itself is greater! The number of cesarian- sections leaves a scar on the inner wall of the womb. This will be our 3rd c-section. The placenta can then, develop behind the scar which leads to Placenta Accreta.  This is where it attaches itself too deeply into the wall of the uterus. 'This abnormally firm attachment of the placenta to the uterine wall prevents the placenta from separating normally after delivery.' The dangers can be severe because removing it can cause hemorrhaging or possible damage to other organs during removal. It could mean that I could have blood transfusions and end up in the ICU...
Now we wouldn't think too much about having a c-section this time, because there are great doctors out there! Our Hungarian Doctor, Dr. Levente was a great one, and we were willing to go under his care the whole duration. The difference is both risks are put together. 
Caleb has been running around town working on finding the best High Risk Doctor around, and Lord willing, we are waiting to see what God is going to do! We would really love your prayers in these situations, Friends! Thank you for your care!
Traveling and Transition
On the long flight over from Europe to the States, Little Buddy came walking over to my chair and said, "I wanna go home." I asked him, "Where's Home?" He states, "You know with Nina and Sarah..." the little girls that lived in our community. My heart dropped for a moment, pondering the thought of my little 3 year old not knowing anything different. He knew nothing different than that grassy, fenced front yard where kids are safe and people spoke familiar words of Hungarian and English. His little preschool was but 2 miles away, and he could ride his bike pretty far for a 3 year old. He could knock on anyone's door and receive a hug, care and a cookie... Teaching my kids 'Stranger Danger' is  a whole new culture.


Our whole life drastically changed in 9 days. From the news of 'high risk' to the first step on the plane, we were arriving on American Soil. We do believe that God has paved this way, even if we weren't fully aware of it. We see His Fingerprints everywhere. He has provided everything from a car, a place to stay, and the joy of being with our family. 2 days before we left, our Hopie learned to ride a bike without training wheels!


We have so many God-stories piling up. One to mention, in the midst of this whirlwind was when we wheeled our 10 packed bags into the Budapest airport, 2 for each of us,with our carry-ons and personal items falling off the carts, we arrive at the ticket counter only to hear the ticket agent says 'Only 1 check-in each'. Paul, Caleb, Nastya and I began to pray while Caleb discussed it enthusiastically. I believed from the beginning, that God would allow this to go through and after 10 long minutes, the Agent hung up the phone, and said, "My manager says Yes." That's My God!!!  They allowed 5 extra bags that somehow were not accounted for in their computer!
Of course, The loss of family back in Hungary is still in our hearts, but knowing that we are still fighting the same fight- this brings joy to this battleground. So Thank you, and we still welcome your prayers so much in the midst of this Transition...
Knowing our God is for us,
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2 comments:

.andi.horvat-kavai. said...

Okay, you meanie!

A few things here:

1. I thought I was SO done crying over you leaving, but you did it again! Made me cry one more time!

2. Little Buddy's comment on the plane warms my heart,dang!

3. With all your pregnancy-talk (the spiritual and emotional side), you ALMOST made me want another baby. But just ALMOST...:)

Lots of love to you, friend, praying for you!

Mirj√°m said...

Kim, reading your blog makes me cry... I'm going to miss you guys, but i'm also excited, because God has something new for you. Something better! Love you all!!!