It has been 3 months since I spelled my life here... I have so many stories and lessons learned in the last couple of months, that if I were to write them all, you would be reading for many moons. So I am just going to lay down the weight and loss of moments recorded, and start from here.
First off,in these past months, it has been Amazing- loving and learning and holding a dream that had never been awoken until we found out we were pregnant in February of 2011. Little Cruz is a precious edition to our family's joy! His little yawns, and breath and giggles; He is such a happy baby... And every once in a while, I will whisper how much I miss Hungary, when Caleb reminds me to look down at my little bundle of blue, and know that God brought this baby into existence... He Also has a dream for him...
|Here he is a month ago|
We just returned from a week long mission's conference in Murrieta, Ca...."I will build my church ..." Matt. 16:18 and was so blessed to be with such precious men and women of God. I could only imagine, and even dare to have the courage of some of these saints.
We decided to take our kids out of school for part of the week and watch them thrive in the children's care they had set out for them. What a blessing to hear their little hearts singing the songs of their hearts, and learning the Word of God while making friends with kids who are serving from around the world. I also was encouraged by a lot of home-school mamas who have to be super-heroes, and shed a little light into my possible future-to-be.
One thing I overheard as we were rushing here and there in the morning to get us all out the door, is my daughter say to her siblings, 'Poor mom, she has to take care of ALL of us and we only have to get ourselves ready." Wow, to hear them 'getting it' (finally), they were exercising compassion empathically, and not only because it was for me, but living it in their heart without me asking- That blessed my socks off!
One thing I realized recently, as I have read in Matthew 9:13, when Jesus says, “But go and learn what this means; “I desire mercy, not sacrifice” that I am thinking too hard about this verse, and not just living it. Mercy is done with your Heart, and not merely the Action of ‘sacrificing’ our lives and actions on behalf of God. Frankly, He can’t stand our earthly putrid sacrifices, but loves for us to ‘get it’ and react by truly practicing the Art of beautiful Mercy on others, as He has had mercy on us!
(*Mercy:not getting what we deserve)
Living this out has changed my thinking these days. I am always taking, taking, taking, trying to store up my earthly treasures on behalf of ME, or for my kids, but, wow! How he would love for us to lay down our lives for others, by not judging, taking, complaining, being critical, and even walking by strangers while they are in need! We often fall back on the fact that 'they did it to me, or they wouldn't do that for me, so I'm just giving them what they deserve, or giving them what they gave to me" But I challenge you, and me, to take in the words of Jesus,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
He has shown me this more so with my children. The other day I ordered an Apple Walnut Chicken Salad while my kids got their Kid’s Meals. As I began to pour out my cranberries, and douse my lettuce with balsamic dressing, my daughter asked me, “Mommy can I have an apple?” My first instinct was thinking of the sacrifice I took to get a salad, and not a hamburger and ‘There’s only like 5 apples on there.’That’s what this whole salad is about! I blurted out a ‘No’. But God quickly chastened me, “If you’re going to start putting this Mercy thing into practice, You might want to start with your kids”. I ended up giving her 3.
Mercy is not only sacrifice, but a heart to follow through. It’s a laying down your life with love. And let’s face it, when it comes to our children,they can be such a paradox. They can be the easiest to sacrifice for,obviously, they are our little Loves, but the hardest sometimes to have patience with to follow through with it. Moms, I’m with you when I say Mercy begins with our children and our Husbands ( a whole ‘nother topic!). Then God easily gives us more opportunities to shine out in the world for others.
Isn’t it interesting how He is training us, teaching us, preparing us, building into our lives, as He’s building into their lives, so that we might be men and women of core Jesus-reflected faith, confident and calm and able to cope with what this life throws at us?
More Soon Friends... In Jesus,