23 February 2014

You Said!


Sometimes I feel like there is so much to do as a Mom! Being mom right now, seems to be the job of all Jobs.

I woke up this morning, and felt like I was already behind. 

Have you ever felt that way?  Where you know that you have to meet an appointment of some kind, and it's still 2 hours out, but you can tell you're already late... 
This morning I felt I was behind in teaching my kids how to do chores and instilling  responsibilities
'What if they always cut corners?  
What if we fight this fight for too long? Other kids know how to do these things, right?'
     . . . All before I got out of bed. 

Only a mother can understand this kind of list of worries. It can wake us up at night, whether it’s a prayer, or forgotten reply. I walked down the stairs and saw all of the snow boots amuck with Jackets and hats at a tired  but failing attempt to make it to the hook next to the door. If the entryway is a reflection of my parenthood, I’m upset.

And, as a homeschooling mom alone, the guidelines and check lists they need to have ‘accomplished’ is killing me. God’s word tells me not to be anxious, and yet, it overwhelms me, just thinking about the simple notion of being their teacher alone. They’ve gotta pass this year right? And there it is, I have to keep going back to what God’s calling me to do, and also keeping in step with more seasoned homeschooling moms, who quietly assure me that I’m doing alright. 

And not only the performance-- but the Character-- and the ‘Withholdings’, the quiet times, and patience. The not yelling at, but the soft moments...to teach. Do you know what I mean? I can’t always expect by telling, but ‘ being an example’ by.... Being.

Wait. What . . .
 I have often envisioned in my mind’s eye a picture of a mom with 4 skates on, and the children want to go in 4 different directions. And there I am in the middle, laying there like a skinned animal rug. 

It makes me laugh about what Jim Gaffigan, the comedian says about having a fourth kid:



"....Imagine you're drowning . . . . then someone hands you a baby."


But even in the midst of it all, there is a peace that only God can give. And personally, what I mean by that is that I can rest in His arms, even with my eyes open. I often feel these worries and anxieties begin to rise, and the only one who can assure my heart is my Father.He is where I find my wholeness. 
I'm a Daddy's Girl. There is no other place I can find more courage.
Returning & Upcoming
So it's been nearly a month since returning to Hungary. And as always, it is at it's finest rapid pace. Many students from all over the world, old and new to get to know or know better. They are hustling and bustling in their studies, and preparing for their 10 day mission trips. {More on that at another time}
Caleb is teaching Romans this semester, amongst all the Pastoral duties continuing, as well as taking on the new role as a Bible College Director. We are preparing for the upcoming Summer AVFL 2014! It is so exciting to see what God is going to do! We absolutely love what we do! We love to see God change lives! (insert high five sound in background!)

Wow
I have been given an amazing opportunity to go on a trip to Kyrgyzstan, a muslim nationlocated in Central Asia with my good friend, Melanie Billings, and Pam Markey. Yes, it is true that Caleb just returned with Paul in January, and they have been asking for some Ladies to come & encourage the church. 

I am so excited, nervous and asking for this prayer for myself and the women in  Kyrgyzstan! Would you pray for us?



I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19
I will keep you updated! The trip is March 4th-10th.


✩The Children
Since we have arrived back in Hungary after a beautiful season of being with the Grandparents,Friends & Family, It has been a great feeling to be back together as a family of 6. Although we miss our family, they are in the Lord's hands. And I feel peace about that!
Here,I sense a deeper Love for my children ,who are GROWING.

They are growing in inches and 

 understanding !
The kids are doing their school work, and often found playing altogether with all of the other kids on campus (27 to be exact) Justice is going to the school in the village, after having a fall semester of Kinder with me. We are praying to continue with the plan of sending them all into the Hungarian school system this next Fall. It has been a process to get to this point! We are checking out the schools; It is all-hungarian speaking, so it is expected to have struggles, but eventually they will get it and thrive! We have had such a peace about it all! But at the same time, as a mom, 'These are my babies', so I know, moms, that you can relate.  Please pray for our family in this specifically!
(see Ephesians 3:16-19 above)


More Wow
Also, I am blessed to share with you a cool testimony of what God did with our daughter, and really, our family! I want the Lord to get all of the Glory because He is worthy and Faithful! I pray that you see the tools that He showed us!

We have just recently ended a real enduring time period with Charis, our oldest who is 9. As we were closing up our time in the States, Charis began to have episodes of crying. Not just any crying but a deep, deep heart ache. She would go into the bathroom, close the door, and wail deep into the night. 
{Sidenote: This also happened last year, right around the same time period, but only when we returned here in Hungary. It ended up subsiding at about 3 weeks. After all of the questioning, prayers, etc., my diagnosis was that 'it was a pain she/I couldn't explain'.} 

Now, as it began before we returned, and as a mom, I make every notion and thought to try and figure out what the problem was... again.

Caleb had returned early back to Hungary, so for nearly 2 weeks in the States, I dealt with the many tears. There would be nights, that we would talk it through, and she would feel better, but later in the night, she would begin it all up again.  We would talk about Bible Stories, and one time she let me in on a little 9 year old insight. "Mommy, I think I am just afraid to grow up." We prayed and prayed, and for some reason, those did not necessarily bring comfort. The idea of it being about 'missing her American home' began to diminish.  I would wake up in the middle of the night, hearing her in the bathroom being angry at herself for the fact that she might be waking others up.
To be honest with you, I began to get frustrated! I am not a night person, so taking on this role, I was feeling such impatience. I couldn't understand that she was not using the tools that we gave her. 'God is with you, Cry out to him!'

I traveled across the globe with all 4 of them,  So in the continued jet-lagged nights in this village, she cried and cried and cried. Caleb took on the role of praying with her so I could sleep. But as a mom, I can hear every peep, breathe and cry after he went to sleep, so I would hear her every move at 5'oclock a.m. I began to tell her 'that's enough!' It didn't work. 
Night after night, we tried different things. We allowed her into our bed to sleep in between us, the ultimate comfort as a child, yet later in the night, I would hear her slip out, and go to cry in the bathroom. So we began to understand, that A. It was not about missing the family back home and B. It was not about feeling comforted by her own parents. That did not take away the pain. We were chipping away at an invisible pain. At least what It Was Not.     
She was staying up for the most part of every night.  She would tell me every morning, 'Mom, it's going to be a good day. I don't think I'm going to cry tonite.'
And During the day, she would have puffy eyes, smiles, and would still play hard.But as the night closed in, the smiles turned straight, and I could see a fear begin in her eyes. 


I began to dive into a deeper understanding, prayer after prayer. I learned all about TCK's and how they adjust.  

Third culture kid (TCK) is a term coined "to refer to the children who accompany their parents into another society". 
A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. the TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not have a full ownership in any. 

At night, we finally got it down to no whimpering, so we had her reading, but she wouldn't let on to how much she stayed up. I got some counsel to Let her cry. So the nights she felt like crying, she and I decided that she should go downstairs to cry, so she wouldn't wake up the house. Now all of this was adding up from Jet lag. Not sleeping for far too long is effecting her body, but she wouldn't sleep. It's a catch 22.
One night, I heard her crying loud in the bathroom, and I was fed up. I stormed downstairs to open the door, and saw her on her knees with the Bible open, crying out to the Lord. She had brought her blanket, her stuffed animal, pillow and Bible. My anger couldn't last. She simply told me she has tried, but cannot go to sleep. I went to look for a book. A big one with many pages. I trusted that reading a book, while very tired, would lull one to sleep. I said, " read this book, and if you want to cry, read again. " 
I woke up the next morning, realizing that I never heard another cry. I felt rewarded! I came downstairs to find all 4 of them sitting at the breakfast table eating cereal. I was excited! I nonchalantly asked Charis if she slept. She said no. I then asked her how much she read. She said she almost finished it. I discovered the bookmark on the 279th page! I was Shocked.  She was purposing to stay awake. 

As time went on, I was starting to figure out that she was afraid to Fall Asleep. We were getting closer. I went for a run that same day, and the Lord showed me that if she was afraid to fall asleep, it is because she is afraid to not have control of the situation. And when we control things in our lives, it is because we are fearful of being out of control. We have a Fear in our lives that we can't face, so we desperately try to control it, but we can only last so long. We need to just let God take control of this. 

That night we were having the first Monday night Home Fellowship beginning at 1/2 past 7. The kids had put on a movie at around 4 pm on a chilly day, and Charis had drifted off to sleep. We decided to take the risk of giving her rest, even though it would look like she would not again, sleep through the night. She woke to eat a little, and then we told her to go up, unbelievingly, to our bed to fall asleep during the meeting. She did. In fact, as it all ended, we all got ready for bed,  and turned out the lights, she slept. But as all got settled, she awoke, out of sorts and began to whimper. 
I decided then and there what to do. Call God out. We laid her down and said, "We're praying over You." As we prayed I felt this surge, and was reminded of what a good friend, Jeanette, had told me about telling God what He told us He could do.
I began to pray, "Lord, You Said 'Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest!' You Said, "Call to me and I will answer you". Lord, we need you to answer now. We need to see your Hands work." We prayed, "You said, Greater is He that is in us, then He that is in the world!' Bind that enemy's lies. We need her to sleep."
She said, "Mommy, I think I am going to go to sleep now."
And we put her to bed. Peace, be still. Not a peep. We all rested in His peace.
God did this! He is Faithful! She has not awoken in the night again! She has slept every night since! To God be the Glory!  
It was a lengthened process, but He wanted to show me a very important principle:

The next morning, God showed me a message.

Isaiah 45: 11 says,

“Concerning the works of my Hands, 

Command Ye me.” 



John 15:7

If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you shall ask what you will, and it will be given.




My encouragement to You is this:
Take the promises that are given to you and lift them back to the Lord in prayer. 
"This is Your word that you told me. These are your promises you have given." This is Faith in action.

My excitement is in the claiming what God says, because He does it!  It has been said of George Mueller, the great man of Faith, 
'The key to his ministry was arguing with God.'


The Key truly is praying insistently: Not in order to convince God, But to convince me! 

May this resonate in your hearts today!

 In Jesus,

       Kimberly

Let's Do this, Mama bears!
Please drop me a line; It is always a blessing!



Here's one of my favorite songs by Rita Springer:
'You Said'


2 comments:

Kimberly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christabelle said...

This tugged on my mama heart! You write it so well! Glad for sweet rest.