23 November 2014

What I want people to remember


Yes, It's officially true. You may laugh at my musings, but I have come to this part of the Bible again, and read it. . . and Today I began to pay closer attention...


Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 
Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.              Titus 2:3-5

I get that in the grand scheme of things, I am not one of the elderly,maybe just middle-aged, but I found myself re-reading a different version (KJV) of this verse, and discoverd that it originally was replaced with 'Older' from 'Aged'.  
When I look at who I am mostly surrounded by, I find that I am in the midst of college-aged Friends. 
The main difference is that I keep getting older, and they keep staying the same age!  

So from my point of view, I've got some 'Age' on me. I've also heard it said, you become like the 5 people you most hang around with.
Well, if that's true, then Cartwheels are in order, right?
This was on our drive home after picking them up after school the other day. Charis started talking about how her friend was leaving the next day, and Further, how in her short life, how everybody always leaves. Oh the life of a Missionary Kid! So, I shared with them what life would be like in Heaven...where one can do as many cartwheels as you like with all of your friends in one place! So to give them a heavenly perspective, I pulled over, told them to run in the field and feel Freedom and Joy as Christ's Kids. This is Heavenly Perspective. Be Thankful for what you are given, and what you DO get to do.

But speaking openly, I am climbing the escalator of years. I am 38, and have finally recognized that I am no spring chicken anymore. I've noticed some changes with slightly different eyesight, and a bit more tired after a long run. I have felt some kinks, and may or may not have discovered 'my first silver' atop of my head! And it's funny to just 'know something' that the younger ladies haven't come across yet, and it's merely by experience of years.
It's fun to be having a conversation with the gals, having a coffee, where you can be friends, and all that is different is the years.You feel just the same, but then you look in the mirror. 
And quietly the Spirit calms you saying: 'I love you' & 'You can use these times to share with them the struggles you went through.' 
And you realize there is a forum to speak into their lives, just by being more 'aged' than the rest. God gives you a platform to speak life and encouragement and point them in the right direction>>> 

And you know what it ends up coming down to?

To have Faith like a Child.
Matthew 18:3
And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

It all comes back to being like a child !
When we were young, all we wanted to do was grow up. But now that we have grown, we realize that we had it pretty good, right? All the worries were not our own. We just had to have a clean room to be able to go outside and play, right? 

Recently, I was driving through the village on a cold day, and it struck me as pretty funny to see an 80 year old woman on a bike. What you would think of when you think of a 'Babushka lady'.
 She had her cute trench coat on and her head scarf wrapped warmly  around her head-  and it was nothing--'like riding a bicycle'. With her basket of food for the day hitched on the back of her bike, she strode along as any other day. You know she'd been doing it for years! Because that's how she'd always done it. It's not abnormal in Hungarian culture. Like and Since she was a child. 
Every Age and Stage has shown me, that the moment I try to be grown up and figure things out in my 'Maturity', is when God draws me back to my dependance upon Him. I cannot rely on what I know, I have to return, and return again to His loving arms. I have to crawl back up on his lap, and ask him to guide me each and every time.  
I can stand in a posture of maturity in a natural world, say the right things, act my age in the proper settings, but if the growth in my natural life begins to step away and overshadow the time I put into my Spiritual life, then I am, - we are- not living this life for the right purpose. We are just coasting. And the further these two worlds come apart, the more we rely on the natural things, and put forth our best face without the spiritual maturity to match it, then we have Lost our purpose in life. 
There will come a time when our seemingly perfect standing 'house of cards' will get a shake & jilt, and all will come tumbling down. 
But if we keep tending to our walk with Christ, find shelter & remain in the Mighty Fortress, we cannot fail. We can fall, but we cannot fail.

The Spirit has to ignite anything we do outwardly...

What I've found myself most reflecting on lately, is having my heart match what is coming out of my mouth. Being what I am saying. 
I recently taught a message to the Ladies in the college, and while preparing, kept asking God for pure dependance upon Him, so that whatever was taught, It would be what He wanted them to know. You can't go wrong if His Words become what I say! 
I had a lot of Ideas for that day, to let my personality sort of be in the driver's seat--But I also had this incoming, newer desire to Please God. To share His Word responsibly! As I have been growing in Age, He is molding me into who he wants me to be, who he wants me to encourage, and saying the things He wants. 

These 2 things can become conflicting or complimentary. It's natural being  the Relateable one, but being the one who Speaks His Word! This is most important! Being what you're saying. I am learning how to balance those. I can be both. But it takes time to learn these things when it comes to Teaching others.Trying, testing, tripping, and getting up. I am learning how to- let God, Trust in Him, and lean not on my own understanding, so that He can, through me, Shine!

More recently, we had a couple of Pastor's Wives come and share with us from the States. 
I used my ideas to create a fun ambiance of Comfort and Creativity for the Dessert table and meeting place. All Fellowship begins with Coffee, right? 
As we all gathered together in the cozy Historical Library, the message was simple & Lovely:
 Love your Husbands, Love Your Children, Love is Respect. 

It was a joy to be reminded of these things. Treasuring the Perfect Gifts God has given to you.  It felt like pouring water over a thirsty plant. It was very encouraging to have them here...
One of the things they challenged us with though, was really touching to my heart. 
She said, "If you were going to be remembered by 5 things, If I was reading or even sharing your eulogy, 
What would You Want To Be Remembered By?"

I stared down at my Bible, and knew that I shouldn't be called upon. I knew my mind and Knew that I wouldn't be able to answer quickly. These were thought out and Deep Questions to Answer. It's the kind, though, that brings my soul to life. But it takes time. I've been pondering the idea of this question, knowing that whatever I write, has to encapsulate All. The whole meaning of my lived Life. It was a little bit hard not to write what I want, or what I want to work on, but what I want to be Remembered by.
And if I may, I think I can answer now.

1. My Heart is Yours
I want people to know that I belonged to Jesus, and live my life sharing that, not only by words but my actions. It is the least I can do, because this Perfect God came down and died for imperfect me. That's unbelievable.

2. Loved Your People: My Family & His sheep    
I want people to remember me because I loved them. I had a real heart to love them. I didn't just teach them that I loved them or taught about Love, but that I truly did. Love is a verb. And only because of Christ in me. ( I understand that I don't have that naturally, and when I die, I hope to have done those things with servant heart & humility)

3. I Believed You, God. I had Faith.
Because of you, I believed what You said. I could do anything in and with you. I could encourage others to do the same.

4. I prayed for Revival.  Wherever & Whenever.
This is a promise I held onto all of my Christian walk.  A Cry of my heart that was birthed at my conversion. Revival came. I wanted to see millions come to know you. And I did.

5. I exemplified Christ & Laid down my life to LOVE my children 
-And because of it, they are sealed in the promise of Being Yours, and walking with you.

I stood on these promises for them. Here are some from God's heart to mine.

Psalm 103:17
But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,

    and his righteousness with their children’s children



Psalm 91:14-16
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 
He will call on me, and I will answer him;

    I will be with him in trouble,

    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 
With long life I will satisfy him

    and show him my salvation.


This is who I want to be known by, and who I want to remain in. The Trust, Faithfulness, and unending Love and Power of Jesus.
If all else fails, and this whole message erases, I hope you get the one word you need. And I hope when you think of me, one word comes to mind.
Jesus


Friends, 
What are the 5 things you want 
to be remembered by? 
Drop a line & let me know!

1 comment:

Tamara Koop said...

Hi Kim! Another awesome post with some very deep and inspiring questions! I am certainly in that "older" boat, but still feel the heart of a child within me and that's something I love to hold onto as it keeps me grounded at Jesus' feet.... My five things would be similar to you - No..1 - That people knew I was a child of God, walking His road through a life of ups and downs, never letting go of His hand. No.2 That I helped people see that life on this planet is not all there is. With your heart and eyes looking up, nothing that happens down here can take your hope in God away from you. No.3 and knowing no. 2, that life here isn't so serious - in fact, it's fun. Every day there is joy to find in the gifts and blessings from God. Just open your eyes!! No 4. I loved colors, I Loved Pink and all that God has created in this world for us to enjoy! His creativity was my creativity and I was often swept up in the beautiful colors of flowers, birds, fish, butterflies and all that is bright and beautiful! No. 5 - I was blessed and tried to share my blessings with others...... Just thinking about these questions has filled me with abundant joy and thankfulness!!! Thanks Kim - your wisdom and heart to share is so special.